I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we're making bets on your personal life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
