The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize