you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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