so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
