How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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