just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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