why didn't you poke me back
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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