Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
