the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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