i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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