I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
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We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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