she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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