I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
