You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
