Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
where are my eyebrows?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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