Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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