this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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