That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
