Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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