Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
