remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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