help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
