Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We need to feng shui this bitch.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
