Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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