I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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