God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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