Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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