Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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