its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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