Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
