Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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