he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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