Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
