how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think my moral compass just broke
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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