I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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