I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
