Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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