just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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