Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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