all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
honey bunches of taint.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
NoShamevember. You game?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
