I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
