I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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