Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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