i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
