yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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