please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
