pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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