do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
