Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You are a genius and a whore.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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