so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
