I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
