took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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