You just made me feel so damn special
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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