i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
