This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
