remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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