Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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