think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
