Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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