What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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