smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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