I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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